For those of you with kids, I’m confident that at some point in their youth, you played Candy Land with them. I am no exception. When Eliana was around 3 years old, she learned to play. It’s a simple enough game that kids get it, but it’s one of those frustrating games as well that can take forever to complete. That darn Gingerbread Man!
If you have any familiarity with the game board, you know that there’s one particular card you never want to draw…that being at the Gingerbread Man, after you work so hard to get near the top, it’s the card that basically takes you back to the beginning. It’s the most frustrating card in the entire game! But, knowing kids would hate that card, there’s an equally awesome one that if you draw it, you go all the way to the top and sets you up perfectly to win the game.
One evening after work, I had settled in after supper to play a friendly game of Candy Land with her. Being a fairly competitive person, I rarely let my kids win at things. They had to try fair and square. Within a short amount of time, I was grateful that I had made it through a vast portion of the game, and was near the top, ready to win. It had already been an exhausting day, and I was ready to wrap up the game, put Eliana to bed, and chill for the balance of the evening. One problem, the famed Gingerbread Man card was yet to be drawn.
Wouldn’t you know, the universe disagreed with my desire to relax. I drew that card and was sent all the way back to the beginning, making the game take even longer than it already had been. I let out a big moan and frowned. (Not my best moment, I should’ve reveled in the playing time with my daughter. Yet, I am human, I was tired.). Eliana sensed my sadness at being sent all the way back down and unexpectedly offered the following comment in quite possibly the cutest, most selfless act I’ve ever seen from a 3-year-old.
“Daddy, I’m sorry that happened. Here, let’s trade places. See, my piece is really close to yours at the top. How about you take my place here, I’ll take your place, and then I’ll slide down the Gingerbread Man space at the beginning.”
I didn’t know what to say. I could not believe what had come out of her heart. She was willing to sacrifice her place on the board, and quite probably, her opportunity to win, all so I wouldn’t be sad. Fortunately, my brain and heart kicked into ‘good dad’ mode, and I expressed my gratefulness that she’d be willing to do that, but it wouldn’t be necessary. I’d slide all the way back down, she needn’t take my place.
Ever had someone offer to take your place so they’d lose instead of you? If anything, many parents have done this for their own kids when they were little and wanted them to win. But rarely has it been the other way around.
But, more to the point, as an adult, has this ever happened to you? Has someone taken the fall for you?
For those who’ve followed me for a while, you know I’m a person of the Christian faith, and my religion and relationship centers around Jesus’ taking the fall for me. My sin, heaped upon His shoulders, He hung and died on the cross. He substituted His life for mine as He rose again offering me forgiveness, peace and life evermore.
Another thing that comes to mind for me is that as a leader, it’s your job to take the blame, to protect your team and organization. You’d be hard pressed to find a time when I threw a team member under the bus for a mistake they made or a circumstance they were caught in. To the best of my ability, 100% of the time, I take the blame, I take responsibility, I’d never expect a team member to take the fall.
How about a Coach? A good one anyhow. A good Coach will take the blame for the loss, for the setback. They weren’t even on the field, but a good coach will take responsibility for the loss.
So then, shall we blindly take the fall for every situation that comes our way? All in the name of humility and sacrifice? May it never be! But, if there’s an inkling of responsibility that you can shoulder, my advice: take responsibility, make no excuses. Sure, it may hurt a bit, but it’s the right thing to do. Then, when the time is right, approach the other person that was in the wrong and do your best to help them learn how not to repeat that mistake.
We’re all this together. Take responsibility. When appropriate, take the fall for others.
And live on purpose today.
