Dear Insecurity,

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written.  I’ve had a recent boost of confidence, hence my delay.  Rest assured, I knew the day would come when I’d need to write once again.  Thus, I shall not dally with my reacquaintance.

So, how have you been?  Have you been swimmingly?  Have all of your subjects been subjected?  Oh, the dreadful feel of you!  Yet, oh the comfort.  To be too confident, you see, can be misconstrued as prideful.  Worse yet, hopeful.  And so, back to the basin we return.  Shaking hands and high-fiving you, our old familiar friend.  I’d hate to be feeling too good.  That wouldn’t match up with the grey of the day.  Or the one-uppers that have a story or picture to match yours, but better.  Or the news network that wants me to feel this way or that so I’ll buy this thing or that all to cure this thing or that.

And of your friend Doubt?  How is she?  Doing her deeds to the deeded?  Oh the things that could be accomplished if not for her!  Dreams and visions and hopes and ideas and innovations…all dashed to smithereens because of her sordid ways.  Should she let up, just for a bit, the cures and calling of many would rise to the occasion, but that would be her downfall.  Doubt must double down for fear of success.

And Regret?  How has he been?  Has he been trolling the trolls of hastily spoken words and unmet expectations?  Oh that cunning conniver!  Imagine the release of hearts had he not done his vile work.  Instead, hearts remain heavy in thinking of the many wishes of having that moment back.  Of wishing it’d be different.  Wishing they’d said something softer.  Wishing they’d have spent that time.  Wishing they’d have done that deed.  But nary a moment escapes where Regret twists his talons into the story which breeds the seeds for Insecurity and Doubt to make their mighty entrance.

Oh my!  I almost forgot to ask of our most formidable friend, Anxiety.  How dare I miss the chance!  How is the ol’ chap?  Oh the stomachs that churn and minds that race because of him!  Sleepless nights and pills laced with antigens to help calm the storm.  All for naught.  Once the mind starts on the hamster wheel, nary a soul escapes.  Rather, Anxiety paces through our very thought, paralyzing us from any proposal of forward progress, let alone peace.  Instead, each heart races with irrational outcomes and thoughts unfounded in reality.  All told, we suffer more from imagination than reality, which is Anxiety’s toxic brew.  What a foe!

Yet, I feel compelled this day to reveal a recent happening that might serve to sever our relationship.  Though, dearest Insecurity, you’ve had your wretched place in my heart and mind for longer than childhood, I fear I may have no further use for you.  You see, I’ve come to determine that life isn’t the way it’s supposed to be, rather, it’s the way it is.  It’s my reaction to these events that determines the outcome.  Should I remain friends with Doubt and Regret, the outcome proves futile.  Should I court the likes of Anxiety and Insecurity, forward progress is hampered.  Yet, to the extent that I engage with my new friends, Purpose and Calling, forward progress ensues.  To the ends that I esteem my compadres, Joy and Optimism, my mind soars with possibility.  To the amount of time I interact with my teammates, Overcomer and Gratitude, obstacles fall before me.  And as I network with my colleagues, Peace and Being, dark clouds fade away and restful sleep finally arrives.

Insecurity, what I’m trying to say is, I’ve found a new tribe.  A new course.  A new adventure.  A higher calling.  A brighter purpose.  Inasmuch as I hate to say it, gone are the days of hand-holding and flirting with you.  More plainly, dear Insecurity, our time has come to an end.  I’ve got too much to do.  The days are short.  My calling is long.  My purpose is big.  There are tragedies to turn into triumph.  There are stumbling blocks in need of conversion to stepping stones.  The path marked out for me is becoming clearer.  My purpose isn’t prideful, it’s progressive.  My calling isn’t arrogant, it’s necessary for the thriving of myself and others.

Insecurity, consider this my final letter.  Please don’t be mad.  You have a plethora of others to involve yourself with.  But it won’t be with me.  It won’t be with my tribe.

But you’ll find your place.  You always have.

I’ll be sure to glance over my shoulder from time to time, reminding me of where I’ve come.  If I don’t wave, please don’t be offended.  It’s just that I’ve moved on.  I’ve set my eyes forward.  I see a bright future ahead.  A future that’s bigger than my past.

And I can’t wait to get there…

‘Til then old friend.  Good tidings and cheer.

Your Immediate Past Friend,

TH