The term “Lifequake” was coined by best-selling author, Bruce Feiler, in Life Is In The Transitions. It’s used to describe a major, sudden, and unexpected shift in life that causes significant upheaval and a period of transition and renewal. It’s an event so significant that there was life before the event, and life after. And, like an earthquake, it’s a massive event that shakes you to your core. It cracks your foundation. It’s an event that you must work through, or you won’t make progress anymore. In our Refocus on Retirement Workshops, we teach that retirement can be described as a major life disruptor, or in other words, a Lifequake.
But there are others. A distant memory for me, but a Lifequake nonetheless, was going to college. Breaking my routines and comfort of home, friends, and familiar surroundings. I was moving in with two guys I’d never met (one from Cleveland and the other from Chicago), and this small-town boy was in for a ride. But I worked through it. We all did. And we found our footing, set new routines, made new friends, and made the best of our time at college.
Silly example, I know.
Better example?
How about when my mom committed suicide on March 22nd, 2011. Now that’s a Lifequake.
There was life before the event, and there was life after.
Everything changed.
What about you? What’s yours?
Divorce? Losing a loved one? Comforting your child every day when they come home crying after being bullied at school? Suffering from anxiety? Infertility? Job loss? Have you lost your way in retirement? Has your mental health unraveled? Has someone broken your trust? Has someone broken your heart?
Lifequakes…
Perhaps you’re in the midst of one as we speak. So what are we to do? Shut down? Hide? Hope it all just goes away? Pray that everything returns to normal, even though it never can? Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. Ultimately, there are really two things I can recommend as you encounter a Lifequake.
#1. You need an anchor for your soul.
Life is chaotic. Full of ups and downs. Joy and mourning. Good times and bad. Peace and storms.
Life will indeed test you. In those moments, what’s the anchor holding you together when everything else is falling apart?
For me, it’s my faith. It’s the anchor for my soul when everything around me seems to be crashing down.
What is that anchor for you? Find it.
#2. Have someone who will sit with you in the dark.
I call these my foxhole friends, or my inner circle. Someone that will be there, no matter what. Someone that will step into the darkness with you rather than running away when it begins to consume you… Someone that will be there so you’re not alone, someone who isn’t there to fix it, simply someone that is there… to just be there with you. Someone who can say “I see you, and I’m not going anywhere.” Someone who will sit with you in the darkness.
Do you have that someone?
I’ve been at this weekly writing thing for 6 years. It’s challenging to be consistent, but I’ve found it helps me clarify my thinking, it allows me to encourage others, to shine the light of abundance in a world of scarcity. I hear from my readers from time to time that they enjoy following my writing journey. And although I don’t know all my readership personally, I find that the longer I’m at this, I try to write more thoughtfully, more carefully, knowing that my words matter.
And I don’t say it as much as I should, but… I care about you.
So, let me ask you: Are you in a Lifequake? If so, can I pray for you? Can I be that someone for you?
Please message me and let me know what you’re going through, and how I can best pray for you. I read every single one. I can’t promise I’ll get back to you right away, but I can promise that I’ll call your name out loud in prayer to my anchor, my savior, Jesus Christ.
Do you know someone going through a Lifequake? Send them this message. Tell them I’d like to pray for them. Are they your friend? Be there. Walk towards the darkness. Sit with them. Be steady. Be their friend. Until they’re ready, be there.
There’s life on the other side of a Lifequake. It takes patience to get through them. Until you’re on the other side and even beyond, I’m here for you.
Steady yourself. Anchor your soul. Invite a friend in. Have them sit with you in the darkness.
There’s Light on the other side.
