My youngest, Everett, is 14 years old. Which means he still has to rely on me, his mom, or his sisters to get him anywhere he wants to go. A driver’s license is a coveted possession for my daughters, Eliana and Kya, as it affords them freedom and the opportunity to go to and fro as they please, visiting their friends or getting to their jobs.
Not Everett.
He navigates his life based on who’s available to take him somewhere.
So, when Keri and I aren’t around, Kya is out doing her own thing, and Eliana is at college, this leaves the bored 14 year old with nothing to do, and no one to get him anywhere he wants to go.
On top of that, he doesn’t have a phone (I know, we’re bad parents… or are we?). It’s his responsibility to figure out what to do.
So, he putzes around, playing a bit of basketball until he gets bored.
Then he reads a little of a book until he gets bored of that.
Then he searches the television for a game to watch, finds nothing, and turns it off.
And 15 minutes later, he’s completely out of things to do! (Never mind you the endless list of chores he’s been left with.)
Poor kid!
So, he’ll use his iMessage app that we do allow him to have and texts us: “When are you coming home?” (Recall we’ve now officially been gone 20 minutes).
We give him a few ideas for something else to do that’s productive, none of which sounds fun to him, so he continues on with his boredom for more time than we care to think about.
But in the end, when all is said and done, it’s his responsibility to find something to do. To be productive, to help the family, to learn and grow, to do chores, to become a better version of himself.
But he’s only 14, someday he’ll understand.
Ultimately, you are where you are because of what you’ve done, what you haven’t done, and how you’ve done it. And in its present form, what you’re doing, what you’re not doing, and how you’re doing it will lead somewhere in the future.
Your fulfillment of lack thereof is your responsibility. No one else. Yours alone.
If something in your life is not where you want it to be or what you want it to be, something has to change, and only you are responsible for changing it.
We can’t sit around moping in boredom, disappointment, bitterness, resentment, anxiety, frustration, insecurity or despair. You have the freedom to choose.
You have power. You have a life to live, and a purpose to fulfill.
Do it. Because no one else will do it for you.
When you come to the realization that something isn’t where or what you want it to be…do something about it!
Take responsibility.
Brick by brick. Do the work.
And live on purpose today.
