“The price you pay for loving something, is the risk of losing it. But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never having loved at all.” – Hilary Stanton Zunin
We take care of the things we love. It’s innate; we’re born with it.
New marriages, new babies, new pets.
A new car, or a new home.
And, the stronger the love, the stronger the sense of responsibility for its wellbeing.
I remember looking into Keri’s eyes as we exchanged our wedding vows. We were in love (still are!). The dating journey we had traveled all culminated in the blessing of marriage. We couldn’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together. Loving one another, ‘til death do we part. 26 years later, our vows are still intact.
I remember holding Eliana, Kya and Everett moments after they were born. The immense weight of responsibility washed over me as I smiled at their beautiful newborn faces. So, too, was the immense amount of love I felt toward them. They were my daughters, my son. A gift from God. I would love them the best I knew how, no matter what.
When they were young, our love for them prompted that their mom and I protect them from a hot stove or from tumbling down the stairs. As they grew older, the risks increased as they got behind the wheel of a car at age 16 (way too young if you ask me!). I remember vividly the day after Eliana got her license, and all three of my kids piled into her vehicle, as this would be the first time she would drive them all to school. Keri and my days of toggling who’d take them or if they’d ride the bus were over.
My eyes blurred with tears as they drove off. I don’t think I’ve prayed such an intense prayer of protection over them in that moment, and each moment since. As author Hilary Zunin states, the love I feel…the risk of losing them…too much for me to even allow myself to think.
It’d be much easier if we just chose not to love at all, wouldn’t it?
Life would be much more peaceful if we really didn’t care about anyone, or if anything bad happened to anybody. Yet, the grief of loss is nothing compared to the despair and loneliness of never having loved at all.
So then, we must choose to love.
If we don’t, who will?
If you love something, you don’t ignore it.
You don’t allow it to fall into disorder and chaos.
You don’t let it atrophy into nothingness and despair.
No, not with something you authentically love.
And yet, all this talk of loving others, I find that many people seem to struggle with loving themselves. And the risk of not loving yourself, is the inability to love others well.
When you love something, you take care of it. This starts with yourself. You’re worth it. You matter.
Do the work. Love others. Love yourself.
And live on purpose today.
