As my youngest son, Everett, approached his 13th birthday, I couldn’t help but want to think of ways to make it memorable.
I reflected that in some cultures, age 13 represents a milestone, a transition from boyhood to manhood. For example, the Jewish culture celebrates Bar Mitzvah and African and Indian cultures have Coming of Age rituals. So, as he approached his birthday in May of 2024, I put together a bit of a Rite of Passage journey. I came up with a 5-stage journey that would serve as his path of transition from boyhood to manhood. I’m well aware of the toxic masculinity movement happening here in America, but I believe that God created my son on purpose, for a purpose. He created him as a male, and as his father, it’s my responsibility to teach him how to be a Man. To not shy away from or be embarrassed by his masculinity, but rather to embrace it, and live it, in humility, to the best of his ability.
Stage 1 was How to Treat a Woman, and I taught him how to be a gentleman as he took his mom on a date and paid for her meal (with my credit card 😉).
Stage 2 was a dear friend of mine taking him through a 4-week study on what it means to be a Man from a Biblical perspective.
Stage 3 was the Relationship Talk (ok, ok, sex talk…I’d rather him hear it from me than culture, but I digress).
Stage 4 was Serve, where we served dinner to the homeless at a local non-profit.
Stage 5 was Physical Strength, in which we hiked the Grand Canyon Rim to Rim. This final stage would be a true test of physical strength. In the end, I wanted to challenge him with an event that would test his physical and mental limits. And that if passed, would signify his transition to manhood complete.
In the summer of ‘23, my family did a trip out west where we explored Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon and the Grand Canyon. While at the Grand Canyon, I couldn’t help but notice a lot of shirts and stickers available for purchase for those who had completed the Rim to Rim (R2R) trail. I tucked that idea away neatly in the back of mind for a possible Stage 5 option for Everett.
Turns out, you can do R2R in a day, but it’s nearly 24 miles of rough terrain and extreme elevation drops and gains. Upon looking into it further, I discovered that you can actually camp down in the Grand Canyon and turn the R2R into a 4-day / 3-night journey. Still physically challenging, but not impossible for a 13-year-old. Plus, spending 4 days in the canyon would allow for more of an experience than a race. One problem, to camp overnight in the canyon, you need a pass. Passes are drawn lottery-style by the Grand Canyon National Park Service. There’s a limited number of permits given out. In November of 2023, I put our names in the lottery, hoping for the best. In January 2024, I found out we were drawn and received our overnight passes! R2R was on!
I knew enough that we needed to train for this event. One problem… Ohio is one of the flattest states on planet earth. How in the world would we train for the elevation at R2R was beyond me.
But, we geared up and put an 18 lb bag of dog food along with a 15 lb dumbbell in a backpack and began to hike around our flat area. There’s a small hill nearby that we walked up and down hundreds of times (the AT&T tower for my local readers), all in hopes of our training being enough to conquer the R2R trail.
A few days before the trip, Everett and I were out on a training hike, continuing to try to break in our hiking boots. It was a flat road by our house, and we were locked in, trying our hardest to prepare for this trip. We were talking about something when all of a sudden, within a split second, he fell flat on his face!
I was completely confused about what had happened, until further investigation revealed that his hiking boot’s shoe lace had somehow got caught in the hook on the opposite shoe. Unable to put his foot forward, he went down hard. He left some skin from his hands and knees left on the road and was bleeding quite a bit. We got him home and cleaned up…
All this to say, we had hiked a myriad of miles before that moment on the road. Up and down that hill near our house and trails around us we visited. Two months’ worth of training and hiking in those boots. And, 2 days before the trip…he tripped. And fell hard.
Lest it be lost on you, if this would happen on the actual R2R trail…well, I can’t fathom to even think about it. That trail doesn’t have guardrails between the narrow path and the thousand-foot drop offs on the side. You must be alert and skilled in placing one foot in front of the other. You can’t trip. Tripping on R2R could lead to, quite literally, lethal results.
And the actual hike? Well, that’ll be a topic for another blog post someday. But, you see, he didn’t trip there. He tripped on our flat road two days prior to flying out.
And as a result, we learned to tuck in our shoelaces. Turns out shoelaces can get caught on the opposite shoe hook. And you can fall without warning.
Life’s kind of like that, yes? We get tripped up from time to time. We don’t even see it coming. Out of nowhere: job loss, divorce, crisis, death of a loved one, chaos, health issue. We’re left with bloody knees and tangled shoelaces. Our hands mangled and our pride demolished. Our self-worth and mental health bruised and bloodied, in need of a bandage.
So, what then shall we do? Stay fallen on the ground? Bleed out? Hope someone or something will change the situation for us? Or, do we roll over, untie the tangle, wipe off the blood, tuck in our shoelaces, get back up and try again. That’s what Everett did. It would’ve been easy for him to stay down, to not want to even go on the trip for fear of the bad things that might happen. Instead, he got back up, untangled his laces, wiped off the blood, and learned. He learned some tactics to avoid tripping again, in this case, by tucking in his laces.
And you can get back up too…and you can learn too.
Something got you down? Get up.
Knees bloody? Clean up and move on.
The world’s bad news got you Below the Line? Shut it off.
Chaos abounding? Chaos is the raw material for purpose. Roll up your sleeves and get to work.
You might trip once, or a few times along life’s path. But always…always get back up.
Do the work. Make your future bigger than your past. And live on purpose today.
