Today I have the privilege of having my colleague and favorite blogger, Jessica Hinks over at The Everyday Advisor be a guest on my platform. Jess and I have worked together for over 5 years and I’ve come to admire and respect her skill, work ethic and financial expertise! This post stood out to me as a great story and reminder of what I want for my clients as well. Enjoy her post and head over to The Everyday Advisor to subscribe to more thoughts by Jess!
Why Waiting for Happiness Doesn’t Work
Originally Published by Jessica Hinks – August 22, 2024
As a mom of young children, I would compare my mornings to the Olympic sprinters blasting out of their starting blocks. At least it feels that way.
The moment my eyes crack open, I am immediately tending to some “emergency needs” (that are actually wants) of my sweet 3- and 1-year-old.
For months, I told my husband that for my birthday, all I needed to fill my cup was just 24 hours of peace and quiet.
And so, after a spring of particularly fast paced mornings, my husband blessed me with some reprieve and kindly got me exactly what I had asked for on my birthday – a night away by myself at a local hotel with room service, rest, and silence.
When the time came, the reality was very different from my expectations…
Here’s what happened…
- I couldn’t even bring myself to go to the hotel until after the kids’ bedtime, because I wanted to kiss their sweet faces goodnight.
- Once I got to my hotel room, it was so quiet that I couldn’t even sleep – as crazy as that sounds.
- My body is naturally accustomed to waking up early in order to get my family ready for the day. That’s exactly what happened.
- I ate breakfast, moseyed about the empty hotel room, worked out, and then… went home early.
Being alone was not what I wanted at all, nor was I feeling peace and cup-filling happiness from it. I was disillusioned to realize that “free time” did not fundamentally change who I was as a person, and a mom, nor did it solve my problems.
~
I see this story parallel in some of my clients’ lives. We can tend to think that once that something happens, we will finally be free to rest and be happy.
That next million dollars.
That next promotion or raise.
Finally retiring and having the free time to do “whatever I want”
That’s the real delusion – thinking that when you retire, you will suddenly be a different person. You will have drive, passion, purpose, hobbies, energy, social exuberance… you will have all the time you need to finally be happy.
And yet, here’s what actually happens:
You will wake up the day after retirement being the exact same person you were the day before.
It might only take a few short weeks for you to realize that you are no happier than you were before retirement.
Can you imagine… how scary that would be?
You spent the last decade making sure you were in a pristine financial position so you could retire.
You kept pushing and pushing telling yourself “Just a little longer. Push through and happiness is just around the corner.”
All that focus, hard work, sacrifice of health, sacrifice of your family time – only to realize that the happiness and contentedness you thought you would be rewarded with at the end aren’t there.
Crushing, right?
My hope for you is that you find your happiness now. That you balance the need for saving for the future with living for the joy of today.
Invest in your passions now, so they are thriving by the time retirement comes.
Take care of your health now, so you can be active in retirement and not sitting behind a screen.
Spend time with your family now, so you have thriving relationships in the future.
Know yourself.
Do the hard work of understanding what it is you need to do today in order to maintain a life of meaning and purpose.
Your future happiness is worth the investment.
Remember, happiness and contentedness will not materialize on their own.
