Recently, I had a heartfelt conversation with a client, who’s also a close friend, about the current state of his life.
He’s deeply passionate about his work, but the relentless pace is taking its toll. Despite his dedication, he feels compelled to navigate tasks he shouldn’t have to undertake, all due to the harsh realities of today’s tight labor market. When I inquired about any glimmer of hope for change, his response was a heavy silence, laden with despair.
Work has always been central to his life, but the demands have only intensified over time. I probed further, questioning whether this frenetic existence aligns with the life he truly envisions. His response was a jumbled mix of aspirations: spending quality time with his grandchildren, embarking on leisurely travels, indulging in golf for pleasure rather than as a business obligation, and fostering genuine connections with friends.
Truth be told, he likely couldn’t answer the question, “Who am I?”, without using his title at his job in the response.
The reality is, we were made for so much more.
When I broached the topic of his legacy and what he hopes to leave behind, he adamantly expressed a desire to be remembered beyond his professional endeavors…emphatically stating that he did NOT want to be remembered by his time at work.
So, there it is…laid bare.
It’s a clash between a lifetime of ingrained beliefs and the harsh realities of the present. Unable, or unwilling, to make the appropriate changes so work didn’t consume his life and his legacy, he stood in the dead middle of a Y in the road. As his friend, I felt the urge to shake him into awareness, to make him confront the limitations imposed by age, health, and the slipping of time. I wanted so much for him to live the good life, to be balanced and healthy and to spend time with his grandkids and to travel to see the beauty of God’s creation with his wife. I wanted him to slow down at work, to take a breath, to work on the legacy he desires for those he someday leaves behind.
Instead, I gave him a big hug. He didn’t need me to point out the obvious. He understood.
And, as a busy executive of the firm I steward, I understand the internal struggles and the weight of ingrained beliefs that shape our paths. I understand the battle of deriving purpose and meaning from our careers and professional lives, yet wanting to engage in quality time with friends and family. I understand the tug of success and significance, yet the peace found in disconnecting and confronting the question: “Who am I?” It’s a battle we must confront, but one that can only be won when we acknowledge the forces holding us back or propelling us forward into our next chapter.
Always make your future bigger than your past.
In order to do that, sometimes, you must leave things, and others, behind.
May your search for meaning prove fruitful.
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Author’s Note: If you need a resource for finding purpose and understanding who you are beyond work, visit hzcapital.com/coaching
